Posted on

Mindfulness Challenge – Week 3

mindful_monday_challenge_week_3

Or ‘In Which I Failed To Make a Change but Ended Up Accidentally Finding Successes’.

Well, my Lovelies,

It is Monday evening and I have not written my weekly Mindful Monday post.  I think that in itself is pretty indicative that this is a week that has not gone well for me.

Up this week was the third principle from Elisha Goldstein’s article ‘7 Things Mindful People do Differently and How to Get Started’.

Show Gratitude for Good Moments – and Grace for Bad Ones.

More than being grateful for the good ones and giving yourself a break for the bad ones, this principle teaches us to hold our emotions lightly.  In other words – don’t get so wrapped up with and carried away by emotions, hold them lightly.  They are not permanent and they will pass.

My Experience

I was planning to stop right there with today’s lesson as it was only about 9:15am on Monday morning where I hit a brick wall on this one.  At this time I let myself experience an emotion I like to call ‘what-in-God’s-name-are-you-thinking-you-idiot’, it is an emotion closely related to ‘seriously?-they-let-you-out-without-a-carer?’.  Both of these are the sister emotions to ‘how-in-the-name-of-all-that-is-good-have-you-gotten-this-far-in-life-without-a-piano-falling-on-you?’  However, as I was typing I realised that when I encounter that level of what I perceive to be stupid decision making I can often drown in the hurt and anger at being thwarted or screwed over in the work place.  My therapist had once pointed out to me that rejection of my ideas isn’t rejection of me.  Our ideas are not unique to us nor are we defined by them.  She went on to tell a story about someone who had invented something on one side of the world only to find someone on the other had done the same thing and beaten him to registering the patent on in.  The point was brought home to me when I went to register the name for this website only to find that someone had bought that domain name and started using it three weeks beforehand (curse me for not registering it four months earlier when I thought of it and checked its availability).

It was a challenging concept to me as I had always seen myself and my ideas intrinsically linked.  I feel personal rejection when my ideas are passed over professionally (mainly because they are freakin’ awesome like me).  Anyway, I digress.  But I digress with a purpose.

…Keep Reading…

Posted on

Mindfulness Challenge – Week 2

mindful_monday_challenge_week2. copy

Or ‘In which Taylor Swift unexpectedly overtook Theory of a Deadman in my most played list.’

You know those days where the universe conspires to make sure you learn a lesson.  Well Monday, the first day of the second week of my challenge was like that. I needed to learn and I needed to learn fast of end up failing before I started.

Week 2 – Forgive their mistakes – big or small.

In her article ‘7 Things Mindful People Do Differently and How To Get Started’ Elisha Goldstien talks about the challenges in practicing a mindful life and the importance of recognising that we will stumble.  The hindrances of life that get in the way of living mindfully can become opportunities to learn.  In these times it is important to recognise what you need in the moment and find your fastest route to begin again.
One of the things I struggle with is being hypercritical of myself.  If I make a mistake I dwell on it, no matter the size of the mistake.  I have conversations in my head about problems that haven’t arisen or judgements that haven’t been made because of my mistake.  Like I said last week, I have issues starting things in case they aren’t good enough, I don’t give myself the chance to make mistakes.
In short – very bad with mistakes. Much issues.
I can remember being in therapy one time and mentioning that I felt like I failed at everything I tried.  I felt I would never achieve anything or succeed at anything I tried.  At the time I was in therapy because I had taken on the small community services organisation I worked for and ended up on work cover having had a break down.  Their treatment of me had been nothing short of bullying.  I ended up affecting change in their policy but couldn’t face going back in there ever again.

My therapist said to me “Tell me about the things you have failed at.”  I couldn’t think of anything.  I took the question home to think over more. “What had I actually failed at?”  Contemplating this at home made me realise that although I had not failed at anything on a large scale, every set back, every rejection and every small mistake was blown up in my mind to feel like large scale failure.

…Keep Reading…