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Mindfulness Challenge – Week 2

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Or ‘In which Taylor Swift unexpectedly overtook Theory of a Deadman in my most played list.’

You know those days where the universe conspires to make sure you learn a lesson.  Well Monday, the first day of the second week of my challenge was like that. I needed to learn and I needed to learn fast of end up failing before I started.

Week 2 – Forgive their mistakes – big or small.

In her article ‘7 Things Mindful People Do Differently and How To Get Started’ Elisha Goldstien talks about the challenges in practicing a mindful life and the importance of recognising that we will stumble.  The hindrances of life that get in the way of living mindfully can become opportunities to learn.  In these times it is important to recognise what you need in the moment and find your fastest route to begin again.
One of the things I struggle with is being hypercritical of myself.  If I make a mistake I dwell on it, no matter the size of the mistake.  I have conversations in my head about problems that haven’t arisen or judgements that haven’t been made because of my mistake.  Like I said last week, I have issues starting things in case they aren’t good enough, I don’t give myself the chance to make mistakes.
In short – very bad with mistakes. Much issues.
I can remember being in therapy one time and mentioning that I felt like I failed at everything I tried.  I felt I would never achieve anything or succeed at anything I tried.  At the time I was in therapy because I had taken on the small community services organisation I worked for and ended up on work cover having had a break down.  Their treatment of me had been nothing short of bullying.  I ended up affecting change in their policy but couldn’t face going back in there ever again.

My therapist said to me “Tell me about the things you have failed at.”  I couldn’t think of anything.  I took the question home to think over more. “What had I actually failed at?”  Contemplating this at home made me realise that although I had not failed at anything on a large scale, every set back, every rejection and every small mistake was blown up in my mind to feel like large scale failure.

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